Social dancing is a sport whose players come in all shapes and sizes, not to mention different levels of ability, experience and technique. Even if both partners are experienced dancers, the first few phrases of a song can clearly define the success and enjoyment of that particular dance. Consideration to both leader and follower needs to be implemented in order to familiarize yourselves with each other. It is wise to start slow, with just a few basic steps and underarm turns to "test the waters", to become comfortable and familiar with each other.

Once you have established your connection you can then continue to explore each others abilities. Of course leaders, you are in control, so it is up to you to establish the connection and to allow you and your partner the time get to know each other. It can be very difficult to enjoy a dance if one partner out dances the other. Do not walk onto the dance floor and start leading your partner through one difficult move or pattern after another, without first establishing a clear connection and becoming familiar with one another. If you do this, you will likely become frustrated and your partner will be confused. Start slow and build, trying new dance moves as you go. If something doesn't work the first time, you might try it again, but do not waste the entire dance focusing on just that one move. By the end of the dance, you will each have a better perspective of the other persons ability and of the way you dance with each other so that the next time you dance you can pick up where you left off and you will know just what to expect. Even if you have previously danced with someone, it is a good idea to dance a starter step or two, just to get in sync with the music and your partner.

While it is proper etiquette to dance to the level of your partner, I am not saying that you should never try out that new dance move that you have been working on. That is part of the fun and enjoyment of dancing. What I am saying is to be sure that you are both dancing the same dance, to the same music at the same time before throwing all caution to the wind! Taking just a little bit of time during the first few steps of your dance, to familiarize yourselves with each other can mean the difference of a beautifully executed dance or a complete train wreck. Take your time and enjoy!